Another New Year

How did 2019 arrive so fast? In the blink of an eye it is here and everything is back to ‘normal’ after a very festive period. The first week of January was stolen from us by the winter sickness bug, both children as its victims. Eliza coped really well considering she hates feeling and being sick. In fact, she’s got the patient thing perfected by really playing on it to her advantage. “Mummy, can you bring me a teddy…… can you get me a drink please……. I need ice cream…… because I’m poorly”. Each request met with a cheeky grin when she felt a little better. I’m glad the bug has gone away. I’m very glad it never grabbed me as well! A day of cleaning every single surface and floor made me feel a whole lot better after a week of germs.

School has been back for one week already. Just like that, a brand new term started. Eliza came home today with two awards. One for excellent reading and the other for completing 10 metres front crawl in swimming. She’s had a great first week back although the first few early mornings were a struggle and she actually napped on the journey to school. She has homework to do this weekend, write an essay about her Christmas holidays. Eliza is not a fan of written work, her fine motor skills are poor so she struggles but she loves Christmas, I mean REALLY LOVES it, so she’s happy to write all about it. We might be in January, we might have taken the tree down and all decorations, but she’s still singing Christmas songs and watching Christmas films and asking how many sleeps until Santa comes again. Once we get to the summer holidays (wow they seem so far away in July and August) she knows her favourite times are about to start – Halloween, Bonfire Night & the whole run up to Christmas. First though, she has a birthday to look forward to. In March she enters the double figures…… 10!!! She’s so ready, I’m so not! How is she growing up so fast?

2019 will be whatever it is. I’ve entered it with a fresh mind, no expectations or demands but a hopeful and positive attitude. This time last year I was in a dark place, needing therapy and medication to help me get through everything. A year later and for the first time in years I actually feel like me and I’m remembering who I am. It’s refreshing so I’m taking that with me this year. Working on me a bit more as I’m an expert at neglecting my own needs and putting other first. I have some amazing friends and family behind me so feeling very loved and lucky.

Enjoy your year, whatever it brings you. The past is called the past for a reason, don’t waste too much time pondering what should be left behind. No matter what the years brings, chase it and embrace it. Forward is the way, always forward.

This has been a blog prompt from the great ‘Finish the sentence Friday’ group based around ‘OMG, It’s January!’ and hosted by the fabulous Finding Ninee and Undiagnosed but okay

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Ten photo’s I just can’t delete from my phone

This week in ‘Finish the sentence Friday’, the prompt is ‘Share 10 photos from your phone’ so here they are (It took me a while to choose ten as I have hundreds saved on my phone!!). You’ll see there is no theme or pattern, my photo’s are as random as daily life.

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This is Rockingham Castle, about fifteen minutes drive from my house. Small but incredible. I’m a real History geek and I love visiting castles and historic buildings. I visited this one over summer during my 6 days of being child free, when the kids went away with their dad. The weather was incredible and I had the company of a friend I’ve known for more than 25 years.

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These two argue and fight as siblings do but they have a beautiful bond that sometimes I’m lucky enough to capture in a photo. Noah loves sitting with Eliza but even at the age of four, he understand and accepts that she doesn’t always cope with contact and she needs her space. They really do love and understand each other.

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Noah visiting one of our local Country Parks. We’d painted rocks with colourful pictures and uplifting quote on, and hid them for others to find on their walks. I love that time of year, when greenery is starting to show again but there are still crisp leaves on the ground. Warm enough to not need a huge coat but cool enough to get a hot chocolate in the cafe after.

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In June of this year I visited Scotland for the first time in my life. Edinburgh was amazing, I loved the Castle and the historic streets. I visited the cafe where J.K Rowling wrote Harry Potter when she was poor and not famous at all. I walked the streets that were supposedly the inspiration for Diagon Alley. I saw men playing bagpipes in kilts and a guy dressed as William Wallace. One of my favourite photo’s is the one above. It might not look like much but that building you can see in the distance was where Mary, Queen of Scots was kept prisoner many years ago. You can read about it here On the 2 May 1568 Mary, Queen of Scots escaped Lochleven castle. Yep, I love history.

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Eliza is always so happy to see Chris who runs Autistic Not Weird, he’s become a close friend of ours and we are lucky that we get to see him fairly often thanks to him living only one hour away. He is one of our very favourite humans. The frame they are holding was made by me. I love arts & crafts. I made one last year and again this year so I think I started some kind of birthday frame tradition! Eliza is so comfortable with Chris, confident enough to tease him (in a fun way) and she even has her own nicknames for him. He is a friendly, caring and fun guy that advocates so hard for autism awareness and acceptance. He’s also an incredible writer and I have had the privilege of reading most of his work to date. His first novel is going to be published very soon, you can check that out here (Yes shameless plug and no, I don’t care because I LOVE this book) Guerrillas by Chris Bonnello It’s a book full of Characters that are the heroes and they have various special/additional needs including autism, PDA, ADHD, anxiety and down syndrome.

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Back in January, Noah and I went with his nursery on a trip to London. We had an amazing time and visited The Natural History Museum and the Science Museum. A day filled of space rockets, pictures of the moon, dinosaurs, skeletons…. he had a great day. First time on a coach for him as well as first time in big, busy and huge London and he coped really well and wants to go back again another day.

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Back in 2016 I was able to see and walk through the carriages of the Hogwarts Express. I’m a huge Harry Potter fan so this was super exciting for me. It was the first time you could walk in to No.4 Privet drive too (And I did, and I was all emotional!!). I’ve been to the Warner Bros Studio Tours three times now, It’s time I booked visit number four…

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One of my favourite places to visit in London is The British Museum. I’m a Classical Studies student so this is where I get my geek full on lol. I can spend hours in the Roman section but the place you’ll see me the most is where the Ancient Egyptian statues and mummies are. There are so many amazing photo’s I could keep on my phone from the museum, but this is the one that I love. Who is she? She is Hathor and she’s always fascinated me for many years. Twelve years ago I beat anxiety and a fear of large amounts of water to get in a tiny wobbly boat and sail across to the Temple of Philae. Why? Because it’s linked to Hathor. As we touched land I cried (partly the relief that I could get out of the boat, mainly because I was actually standing there at the temple). “Hathor was the golden goddess who helped women to give birth, the dead to be reborn, and the cosmos to be renewed. This complex deity could function as the mother, consort, and daughter of the creator god”.

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This time last year I did a graffiti tour of London with a friend. She needed photographs for her photography degree and she wanted some company. We had a great day and very sore achy feet from covering miles and miles of London. I saw this on a wall next to some other posters and graffiti and just loved it. It speaks for itself really.

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I LOVE THIS PHOTO. Taken on Eliza’s 9th birthday earlier this year and with all three of us being a bit cheeky. I love it because it reminds me no matter how down I feel when depression kicks in, I have these two little humans that are my world. When my anxiety is taking control, I look at photo’s like these. These are my babies. I grew them. I raise them. I keep them safe. They are everything. We’ve been through so much yet look at us all.

 

This week’s prompt is hosted by Finding Ninee and Sporadically Yours


 

 

The end of the summer holidays means the start of another amazing school year

The summer holidays have ended and a new term has started at school. Where did 7 weeks of summer go? I seem to have blinked and missed it! We have had some fun though. We met up with some friends, had a few play days, trips to the cinema and various parks. Eliza had her dental surgery too, her first anaesthetic and she did really well and coped amazingly. They removed six baby teeth in total, all refusing to come out on their own and two of them so worn that the nerve endings were becoming an issue and stopping her eating. As soon as these teeth were removed, the new teeth were already showing. Oh it is such a joy to see Eliza eating and drinking again. The teeth have been an issue for a few months as we waited for her operation date. She’d lost 8lbs in weight in that time and now the teeth are sorted she’s already gained 4lbs back and is loving her food again. Eliza did extremely well in hospital although a few times she was angry that she couldn’t have something to eat or drink, she’d been nil by mouth from the night before. Even as she went under the anaesthetic, her eyes closing, she whispered “I want sausages and chips…..”. The first thing she said as she woke up afterwards was “Why are we not in the cafe yet?”. She did so well and she was so grown up about the whole thing. She’s really coping with her anxiety a lot more these days. And yes, on the way home from hospital we collected sausages and chips!

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A very sleepy Eliza after her operation this summer. The R&L were written on her cheeks by the dental team so they got the correct side no matter where they were standing etc. But if you ask Eliza, she says the letters R&L were because she is ‘really lovely’.

Last week she was back at School on Thursday and Friday. She was calm and relaxed and rather excited. Her School is pretty amazing, they really ‘get her’ and have helped her to grow in confidence as well as acknowledging what an academically able child she really is with the correct support in place. It was great to see her return to school so happy and fairly anxiety free. Later that morning on the Thursday, a memory came up on my timeline app on my phone. A photo of Eliza returning to school last September. I was so shocked at how much she’s changed. She’s lost the last of those baby face features, gotten so much taller and just suddenly looks so grown up!! Here, see for yourselves….

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One year apart! What happened? Did someone feed her some kind of growing potion…..?

A few years ago I used to carry her in to school crying and anxious. Often I’d collect her at the end of the school day anxious and quiet. The last year at that school was just awful. Wrong class, wrong teacher and a bully that made her life miserable for months (verbal and physical attacks). Her academic ability was not understood and she was so bored and frustrated. Within weeks of being at the school she’s at now, she was already calmer and happier. It was clear her academic levels were so much higher than the previous school thought and Eliza made incredible progress fast. She loves her lessons and has recently shown an interest in music. She learnt to play a brass horn instrument and after only 8 weeks took part in a concert at school for the parents to watch. More recently she has been learning piano and really enjoying it. Her teacher tells me Eliza can read music.

Eliza going back to school so calmly and happily shows how much she really loves being there. The school is amazing and every time she returns to it I know she’s going to be happy and well supported. In 2 years time she’ll start high school but let’s not go there yet! Seriously though, I can’t get over how much she’s grown!!

 

This was written for a prompt in ‘Finish the sentence Friday’ hosted by Finding Ninee and Sporadically Yours

A Christmas nudge in the strive towards continence

I don’t normally talk about something so personal but I thought it was worth sharing our experience as lot of children struggle with continence. Eliza is seven years old and wears pull-ups both day and night. There have been so many hurdles to jump including fear of small spaces, fear of noisy hand dryers and just being in a place that is always different. Lets face it, at home it is easier as the bathroom pretty much looks the same but when you are out and about every toilet place looks, smells and sounds different. It has taken years and I mean YEARS to bypass all these hurdles and we have gone at her pace with the odd nudge forward if we thought she was ready. It has been a long process of reassurance, explanations and visual aids but she is so close now. During the last few months she has been using the bathroom more and more and trying really hard to be continent.

After a lovely meeting with the continence team this week we decided it was time to take the next step and move from pull-ups (nappies but shaped like pants/knickers) to proper cotton knickers (Eliza has chosen to call them knickers but some of you may say pants, undies, underwear… but as Eliza calls her pull-ups ‘pants’ we needed a different word).  As it is such a change we thought using washable incontinence knickers would be a step forward – these are simply cotton and look like normal girls knickers but with a built in cotton booster to help with little accidents, you know those ‘not quite made it’ moments. The hope is as time progresses she will then just move on to regular girls knickers in time. We have extra books ready  and social stories to help her understand as much as possible. This is when I decided on a plan that may help her take to the idea even more, a nudge in confidence by writing to her from one of her most loved people, Santa!.

Eliza LOVES Christmas, she adores Santa and every December she pretty much bounces through the month rather than walking. So I  wrote her this letter…

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This letter will be ‘delivered’ to her on Tuesday as she breaks up from School for the holidays. As you will see in the letter, we have mentioned Mrs Claus and a special present. To help Eliza with her next step towards continence and use her love of Christmas I am making up a pretty box, a ‘special present’ from Mrs Claus. Inside the box will be some pretty knickers, books, stickers and a new kids padded toilet seat (you know those ones you can move on and off as needed). It will be wrapped up and will have a letter from Mrs Claus attached. The fact that Santa, in his letter above, will have pre warned her about the present will help ready her for the arrival of this special gift. This is the letter from Mrs Claus…

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So that is the plan and I hope it helps her on her transition. I thought the special box should come from Mrs Claus, you know, girl to girl as such but with the added mention of her in Santa’s letter. So there it is, my cheeky use of something my child loves being used to try and help her with something she struggles with. It wont work for all children, this is just something I know will go down well with Eliza. Although I hope it gives some of you ideas that things like this can work. It doesn’t have to be Christmas, it could be linked to a favourite character or film. This is just something I know MY child will adore and be amazed at. Eliza is very visual, she likes to see/watch and to read and she will read the letters over and over with joy. I am hoping it gives her that extra boost in confidence to at least try the knickers and we will just from there, at her pace with love and patience, like we always do.


***Editing on 30th November 2018 to add that the above went as expected and Eliza was thrilled with her special present from Mrs Clause and within 2 weeks was completely continent and has been ever since. She never bothered with the padded pants, she chose the regular knickers. She still mentions her special letter from Mrs Claus around this time of year***