Striving for continence

I don’t normally talk about something so personal but I thought it was worth sharing our experience as lot of children struggle with continence. Continence is something Eliza has always struggled with. She is seven years old and wears pull-ups both day and night. There have been so many hurdles to jump including fear of small spaces, fear of noisy hand dryers and just being in a place that is always different. Lets face it, at home it is easier as the bathroom pretty much looks the same but when you are out and about every toilet place looks, smells and sounds different. It has taken years and I mean YEARS to bypass all these hurdles and we have gone at her pace with the odd nudge forward if we thought she was ready. There was even a time when she was a ‘smearer’ and for months we went through a regular routine involving bathing and cleaning rooms. I’m going to visualize so many parents nodding because they know what I mean. For those of you that don’t, brace yourselves…. Eliza would smear poop all over her walls, her clothes, her face, the carpet and any other surface she could reach. Mainly sensory led we worked hard to overcome that stage and *touches wood* it’s been a very long time since we saw any of that. It has been a long process of reassurance, explanations and visual aids but we are so close now. By we I obviously mean she,  Eliza is the one working towards being continent but I say we as it’s a journey of hers where I have always been by her side guiding her and preparing her. During the last few months she has been using the bathroom more and more and trying really hard to be continent.

After a lovely meeting with the continence team this week we decided it was time to take the next step and move from pull-ups (nappies but shaped like pants/knickers) to proper cotton knickers (Eliza has chosen to call them knickers but some of you may say pants, undies, underwear… but as Eliza calls her pull-ups ‘pants’ we needed a different word).  As it is such a change we thought using washable incontinence knickers would be a step forward – these are simply cotton and look like normal girls knickers but with a built in cotton booster to help with little accidents, you know those ‘not quite made it’ moments. The hope is as time progresses she will then just move on to normal girls knickers in time. We have extra books ready to help her learn about how it’s quite normal to use the loo etc. This is when I decided on a plan that may help her take to the idea even more.

Eliza LOVES Christmas, she adores Santa and every December she pretty much bounces rather than walks. So I decided to write her this letter…

elizasanta2016

This letter will be ‘delivered’ to her on Tuesday as she breaks up from School for the holidays. As you will see in the letter, we have mentioned Mrs Claus and a special present. To help Eliza with her next step towards continence and use her love of Christmas I am making up a pretty box, a ‘special present’ from Mrs Claus. Inside the box will be some pretty knickers, books, stickers and a new kids padded toilet seat (you know those ones you can move on and off as needed). It will be wrapped up and will have a letter from Mrs Claus attached. The fact that Santa, in his letter above, will have pre warned her about the present will ready her for the arrival of this special gift. This is the letter from Mrs Claus…

mrsclaslet

So that is my plan and I hope it helps her on her transition. I thought the special box should come from Mrs Claus, you know, girl to girl as such. So there it is, my cheeky use of something my child loves being used to try and help her with something she struggles with. It wont work for all children, this is just something I know will go down well with Eliza. Although I hope it gives some of you ideas that things like this can work. It doesn’t have to be Christmas, it could be linked to a favourite character or film. This is just something I know MY child will adore and be amazed at. Eliza is very visual, she likes to see/watch and to read and she will read the letters over and over with joy. I am hoping it gives her that extra boost in confidence to at least try the knickers and we will just from there, at her pace like we always do.