People leave because of death, distance and destruction.

Why do people leave us? Eliza asked me that question recently after watching a film that involved a friendship breaking up and people going their own ways as such. We chatted about how life can be different for everyone, how we can change, people move away, people die…. Eliza was comforted by the in-depth discussion we had that covered a lot of reasons. She likes logic and she also likes truth. She listens and processes the information in her own way and she moves on, happy with her knowledge that she gained. This doesn’t mean she isn’t sad or that she isn’t affected by what we talked about. Eliza shows a lot of empathy and understanding but she is able to move on with life knowing she’s saved the information for a day she might need to use it. As I sat thinking about the conversation she’d prompted, it reminded me certain memories, of how we lost certain people from our own lives.

Death. One of the main reasons people leave us. I’ll never forget the last time we took Eliza to see her Great Grandmother in hospital. I knew it would be the last time but little toddler Eliza was unaware and went about her business of waving at nurses and smiling at people. As we were leaving, Great Grandma hugged Eliza and whispered in her ear “promise me you’ll never grow old” and gave her a kiss. An emotional moment that has stayed in my memories and makes me tearful just writing about it. Because she was an incredible woman. Because I knew that was the last time we’d likely see her. Because it’s a promise none of us can make. Death will come for us all.

Distance. Some of my closest family members are not close distance wise. Oh how we miss them dearly. Family and friends move away for various reasons and you keep in touch as much as possible but it still feels like they left you or you left them. These days the internet helps so much with social networking sites, Skype and various online messenger chat boxes to use. It makes it easier to stay in touch but there is still that sense of loss that lingers.

Destruction of friendships. As a young girl it was a common thing shouted in the playground “I’m not your friend anymore” as children fell out with each other. It wasn’t long until they were best friends again of course. As an adult, friendships break for other reasons. One of the biggest things I wasn’t prepared for was how an autism diagnosis would cost us over seventy five percent of our friends. When Eliza was diagnosed at age 3 it was a time we all needed understanding, love and support. Instead we watched people leave our lives because they didn’t understand or didn’t want to. Our lives didn’t sync with theirs, we had very different priorities. Friends I’d known for over ten years simply walked away. Some family too. Still, it filtered out the ones that would stay no matter what. The ones that said “I’m here” and meant it. We’ve also gained some amazing friends through online support groups and Facebook pages. Our internet family (and a few we have met face to face and are now much loved and very important people in our lives) We are so thankful to have them. I know who will always be there for us. I know who won’t leave.

strong women

There’s more I could write but my time is up. This was a prompt for ‘Finish the sentence Friday’ and this weeks subject was to do a 5-minute stream-of-consciousness using the prompt “Leave”. Hosted by Finding Ninee and Sporadically Yours

 

3 thoughts on “People leave because of death, distance and destruction.”

  1. I can really remember the stings of the ways people leave you – especially friends. Death is so different than that. I’m so glad you were able to comfort her with her question! I worry I don’t know how to always do that for my kids.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It makes me so sad and angry that friends and family would walk away because of an autism diagnosis. I’m really sorry that happened. We lost some friends, too. One family that we spent so much time with totally abandoned us. Tucker had known their daughter since he was six months old and she was three months. Then, poof. The story of Great Grandma in the hospital reminds me of Tucker at his grandma’s funeral. He was waving and saying bye-bye to everybody.

    Liked by 1 person

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