A Christmas nudge in the strive towards continence

I don’t normally talk about something so personal but I thought it was worth sharing our experience as lot of children struggle with continence. Eliza is seven years old and wears pull-ups both day and night. There have been so many hurdles to jump including fear of small spaces, fear of noisy hand dryers and just being in a place that is always different. Lets face it, at home it is easier as the bathroom pretty much looks the same but when you are out and about every toilet place looks, smells and sounds different. It has taken years and I mean YEARS to bypass all these hurdles and we have gone at her pace with the odd nudge forward if we thought she was ready. It has been a long process of reassurance, explanations and visual aids but she is so close now. During the last few months she has been using the bathroom more and more and trying really hard to be continent.

After a lovely meeting with the continence team this week we decided it was time to take the next step and move from pull-ups (nappies but shaped like pants/knickers) to proper cotton knickers (Eliza has chosen to call them knickers but some of you may say pants, undies, underwear… but as Eliza calls her pull-ups ‘pants’ we needed a different word).  As it is such a change we thought using washable incontinence knickers would be a step forward – these are simply cotton and look like normal girls knickers but with a built in cotton booster to help with little accidents, you know those ‘not quite made it’ moments. The hope is as time progresses she will then just move on to regular girls knickers in time. We have extra books ready  and social stories to help her understand as much as possible. This is when I decided on a plan that may help her take to the idea even more, a nudge in confidence by writing to her from one of her most loved people, Santa!.

Eliza LOVES Christmas, she adores Santa and every December she pretty much bounces through the month rather than walking. So I  wrote her this letter…

elizasanta2016

This letter will be ‘delivered’ to her on Tuesday as she breaks up from School for the holidays. As you will see in the letter, we have mentioned Mrs Claus and a special present. To help Eliza with her next step towards continence and use her love of Christmas I am making up a pretty box, a ‘special present’ from Mrs Claus. Inside the box will be some pretty knickers, books, stickers and a new kids padded toilet seat (you know those ones you can move on and off as needed). It will be wrapped up and will have a letter from Mrs Claus attached. The fact that Santa, in his letter above, will have pre warned her about the present will help ready her for the arrival of this special gift. This is the letter from Mrs Claus…

mrsclaslet

So that is the plan and I hope it helps her on her transition. I thought the special box should come from Mrs Claus, you know, girl to girl as such but with the added mention of her in Santa’s letter. So there it is, my cheeky use of something my child loves being used to try and help her with something she struggles with. It wont work for all children, this is just something I know will go down well with Eliza. Although I hope it gives some of you ideas that things like this can work. It doesn’t have to be Christmas, it could be linked to a favourite character or film. This is just something I know MY child will adore and be amazed at. Eliza is very visual, she likes to see/watch and to read and she will read the letters over and over with joy. I am hoping it gives her that extra boost in confidence to at least try the knickers and we will just from there, at her pace with love and patience, like we always do.


***Editing on 30th November 2018 to add that the above went as expected and Eliza was thrilled with her special present from Mrs Clause and within 2 weeks was completely continent and has been ever since. She never bothered with the padded pants, she chose the regular knickers. She still mentions her special letter from Mrs Claus around this time of year***